To my Childhood Hero,
It's been 18 years since the first time I saw you on TV. They had accidentally switched the channel to 13 and it was a basketball match featuring Purefoods and San Miguel. I didn't know the game then, much more the players who were in it. I don't really know what made me stay glued to the television that long, but I clearly remember you and your intensity the whole game. You were in your uniform, jersey number 16. You weren't the "flashy" one in the team and neither were you the top scorer, but I remember how my heart stirred the moment I heard your moniker -- "The Captain" or "Captain Lionheart". I remember how, even at such a young age of 9, I distinguished that you weren't just an ordinary player. You were also a leader. And I knew then, that was exactly who I wanted to be.
The next thing I knew, I was holding a basketball the following day, dribbling and shooting away with boys. I didn't care if I was the only girl. I would run off to the neighbor's house every after school and play against their drivers. Of course they would hesitate at first, but when they see me driving past them for a layup and fearlessly bumping against them for a rebound, they would begin to take me seriously. I would not stop until early evening and I was drenched in sweat and could barely move my legs from exhaustion. I didn't care about anything, except for the adrenaline rush that playing basketball gave me every single time I touched the ball.
I even kept a diary about you. I recorded all your games, how many points you made, your opponents, and facts about your team.
I looked forward to watching all your games on TV, cheering for every basket you made. I would stick around the post-game interviews to listen to you talk and I remember feeling so inspired after. I remember how my heart would swell with pride every time they referred to you as "The Captain", how you would honor your teammates instead of yourself. I couldn't wait until the next time I held a basketball so I could expend all my energy into becoming even better, perhaps even become "The Captain" just like you.
That summer, God blessed me with that opportunity when I found out that our school had a summer program for basketball. There was no way I would miss it! I would commute everyday, with a backpack and basketball in hand. I would ride the jeepney to Singalong, walk to the gym and savor each moment that I could play. I would be the last one to leave the gym, all dirty from the dust that accumulated from the floor. But I didn't care. I practiced my shooting until my arms were sore. Then I would go home, play with my neighbors some more and before going to sleep, practice my shooting form while lying in bed. The next day I would do it all over again.
I got into the varsity team the following school year, as Co-Captain. I naturally tried to get your jersey number, but someone more senior than me chose it first. I wanted to trade after, but I became attached to the only number that was left in the roster then -- 5. From that point forward, I became "Caynap, No. 5".
Basketball became my life, my first love, my best friend. It was my form of escape when the world became too much to handle. It was the one constant thing in my life for 10 years. I played from Grade 5 until I was in college. I wasn't particularly the best. I wasn't flashy. I didn't score the most points in a game, nor did I ever win any Mythical or individual award. But it didn't really matter to me because somehow I knew, it wasn't what was important. I realized that what gave me more joy was working behind the scenes and motivating my team instead of being on the limelight. I've always wondered where this mindset came from, and then I realized that you, unknowingly, taught me that.
Sometimes I wonder if you realize just how much of an impact you made in other people's lives by just being. Looking back, I realize how much of an inspiration you have been all these years. I treasured every single memento I had of you, most especially the first and only autograph you signed. I'm sure that you have signed millions of autographs in this lifetime, but to me, it meant the world! You were in Glorietta then, the old wing where they had setup an arcade across Toby's. I chased you down several booths, pretending I didn't care. Inside however, my heart was racing. I wanted to get your autograph, but I was glued to where I was standing. There were several other kids who went up to you, but I just stood there and watched as you entertained all your other fans. "Ang swerve naman nila," I thought to myself. I was resolved not to approach you, but when you suddenly turned toward the exit, it occurred to me that it may also be the last time I would ever get to see you. I panicked and desperately tried to find a clean sheet of paper, but the only thing we could find was my Mom's calling card. Without thinking twice, I grabbed it and without looking at your face, I handed the business card over to you. You took it, asked for my name and signed.
I took it back with trembling hands and fought the urge to jump up and down in front of you. I tried to walk straight as I left the arcade, but I couldn't hold back the smile that had formed on my lips. It felt like I was floating as I walked through the corridors and down the escalator. I remember staring at the tiny card you had signed, debating whether or not I should frame it. I had shown it off to my friends, telling them how Captain Lionheart had signed his autograph for me. I know it sounds crazy, like I'm some love-struck kid. I guess to some extent I really was.
Years later, I became the Captain of my High School team. I represented our school in different competitions, won some awards and even caught the eye of some college coaches. I decided to continue playing in college and was blessed with the opportunity to play in the UAAP. It was the most amazing 5 years of my life… I experienced basketball at its finest! I remember the first time I ever walked out of the dugout of Araneta Coliseum… It felt like I was walking on sacred ground. Is that how you would feel too? You must have played there a million times, I'm sure. But doesn't it take your breath away each time? How the dome just envelopes you into its grandness. I can never forget the first time my name appeared on the scoreboard atop, how I had to stop to take the moment in... I never wanted to forget. But the greatest feeling in the world was knowing that I was leading a team into that sacred place. I wasn't just any player, I was a Captain. That for me was the real honor and the most exhilarating feeling of all. I must have played a hundred basketball games, celebrated so many victories, but nothing can ever compare to being regarded as one of the Lady Eagle Team Captains, one of those who led our team to the first-ever UAAP Championship for Women's Basketball. It has been one of my biggest achievements in life. I enjoyed being part of a team, how I had grown alongside my teammates. Through sprained ankles and injured knees, grueling practices and weights training, I savored each moment I was given. I had my heart broken several times when we would lose hard-fought games, or I would get benched, taken out of the starting unit. But the memories I treasure the most are those that I spent with my teammates on the court, encouraging, praying and cheering each other on. It was in those solemn moments when they would seek my advice, listen to their pains and be with them in their struggles, that I got to understand how it is to truly love this game.
So I guess, this is my way of thanking you… Captain. Because somehow, some way, I'd like to believe that I also found my way to becoming one. God drew my destiny that fateful day when I chanced upon your game on television. Your valiant display of leadership set the tone for how I wanted to live my life -- always outward, passionate, loyal, selfless, humble, God fearing. After 18 years, I finally got enough courage to tell you all this, to express my gratitude for shaping my life the way you have. Thank you for being the person I looked up to, for setting such a good example of how one should lead. Thank you for being my inspiration all these years.
Thank you, Captain Lionheart. You are, and will always be, my childhood hero.
SOURCE: https://www.evernote.com/shard/s189/sh/8547202f-3b93-4a7d-8e07-1de908f2008d/c6f35d2c41afba18a8d41156b2d8e953
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